Restart
by Hagetaka
Summary: [AU] Setsuna has problems in his life, mainly, he is in love with his little sister. It's times like these when angelic powers would certainly be useful, but everybody knows that things like that don't really exist. Now finished.
1. Chapter 1: Unwanted Offers

**Author's note:** Although this story uses the characters from the anime/manga _Angel Sanctuary_, it does not follow the same plot. Although every attempt was made to keep the characters with the same personalities (and in some cases, relationships) as the original work, this series takes place in an alternate universe where there are no such things as angels or demons (this is not discounted by the presence of any non-human characters from the series, as they are humans in this story).

Furthermore, I own no rights to the _Angel Sanctuary_ franchise or its characters. This story is not to be associated with the real-world change of money. So without further ado, I would present to you _Angel Sanctuary: Restart_

Chapter 1: Unwanted Offers

It was a sunny day early in the spring. The weather was warm; the type that just tends to place people in a good mood, without the rain and chill that is often associated with the season. Although the sky was not without its clouds, they were of the kind that seems only to make the sky more pleasant without inspiring gloom in the people who look at them. In all, it was perfect for the last day of school. However, one girl was not at all cheerful.

She stood in a shaded grove of trees somewhat off the main path. She had black hair that reached almost to he shoulders, and wore the uniform for the nearby school. Tears gleamed beneath the old-fashioned glasses that she wore. Most of the students who walked by could tell an observer that the girl's name was Saiki Ruri. More correctly, they could have if they could see her, but the trees acted as a shield between the girl and the students who walked by on the path, happy that the school year was over and oblivious to their sad classmate only a short distance away.

If they could see into the shaded grove, those same students could also give the name of the young man who stood not too far from Saiki. Setsuna Mudo, a third-year in middle school. At least until school started again, when he would start attending a local high school. Other than their names, the passing students could not say much other than that both teenagers were not well known; Saiki was a straight-A student who didn't socialize much with the other students, while Setsuna was perhaps more fitting of the "loner" stereotype. His ancestry, which included an English grandfather, made him a curiosity to the girls and earned him a bit of resentment among his male classmates, although Setsuna was never seen much by either group except while at school.

After a few minutes, Saiki ran away, sobbing into her hands. Setsuna showed no reaction at all, lost in thought until a voice called out to him from nearby.

"You probably could have been a bit nicer," the voice commented. Setsuna turned to face his observer, who was a student at the high school that Setsuna would soon be attending. He also wore glasses, although they were not as antique-looking as those that had been worn by Saiki Ruri. His hair was also black, although it was much longer than most guys, being long enough that the male wore it gathered in a ponytail.

"Who are you?" Setsuna asked. He had never met the youth who was leaning against the fence that encircled the school grounds. As Setsuna turned to walk away, the older student closed the book that he had been reading and stood up straight.

"My name is Sakuya Kira," he responded. "and I've come here to offer you the position as my personal sidekick."

"Not interested," Setsuna answered without facing the other.

"Come to a decision so soon?" Kira asked, disappointed. "Don't you even want to know what your position would entail?"

"Like I said, I'm not interested," Setsuna said as he walked away. "I have enough to worry about as it is, and I don't need someone else's problems on top of mine."

"So that's why you rejected that girl," Kira muttered. "No wonder she ran away crying."

Setsuna paused. "That was different," he told the high-schooler before walking the rest of the way to the path. Without looking back, he left the school grounds and headed towards his father's house. He passed people along the way, but paid no attention to them. He was almost to the house when a familiar voice called out to him from above.

"Where're ya going so fast?" it asked. The voice belonged to a fifth-year elementary school student who sometimes talked to Setsuna when he passed by. He stopped and looked up so he could talk to her.

"I'm supposed to be meeting someone tonight," he told her.

"Ooo, is it your girlfriend?" she inquired. Setsuna felt a pang of sadness; he only wished it could be so!

"No, nothing like that," he responded calmly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I should get going, Kurai." The girl watched for a while as Setsuna resumed his walk home before leaving.

Setsuna's father was not at home when he arrived, but he rarely was. His mother and sister were not there, as Setsuna's parents were divorced and lived separately. He changed out of his school uniform into jeans and a sweater, and then lay down on his bed for a while to consider the two offers that had been made to him that day. The first one was a definite no, and the second one didn't seem to bring any advantage to him. If only there were a third offer that would be made that night, but Setsuna knew better than to falsely raise his hopes for something that would never be.

He lay thinking for so long that he forgot to watch the time, and realized that he was going to be late for his meeting. He rushed out the door and ran as hard as he could towards the place he was supposed to go. People sometimes gave him odd looks, but they got out of his way and Setsuna just ignored them. He was so intent on making it on time that he didn't see the brown-haired middle-school girl who walked in the other direction until he had already passed her.

"Where do you think you're going?" she yelled after him. Setsuna slid to a stop, and turned around to face the only woman he would ever love.


	2. Chapter 2: Forbidden

Chapter 2: Forbidden

Setsuna walked though the city streets as he explained himself to the girl.

"I'm sorry I was late, Sara," he apologized. "I… kind of lost track of time again."

"You're a rotten liar," she accused, "You weren't going to show up again, weren't you?"

"It's the truth!" Setsuna exclaimed. "I was planning on coming, but I was late getting out."

"You're lying," she repeated, "Why do you hate me so much?"

"Sara…" words failed him as he searched for the right thing to say. He embraced Sara, holding her close as he began to reassure her.

"I don't hate you, Sara," he told her softly. "I really am sorry, and I won't let it ever happen again."

"What am I going to do with you, brother?" she asked. Startled, Setsuna let go of Sara. She was right, he was her brother, and had no right to be with her the way he wanted. Startled by her brother's sudden change of manner, Sara began to speak but was stopped by Setsuna.

"We should get going," he said. The two of them went on their way, chatting idly about how they had been since they last saw each other. They were so focused on each other that they never noticed the young man with the long black hair who had watched the entire exchange from the street corner.

The two siblings walked until they came to a restaurant. While it wasn't by any means fancy, it was a nice place where the two could get something to eat together. As they waited for their food, Sara suddenly became serious.

"Why do you think mom and dad got divorced?" she asked. Setsuna knew the reason, but he kept it to himself.

"Sometimes those types of things don't work out," he responded. "It was really sad that it happened, but it happened."

"Oh, I see," she replied, although her tone indicated that she knew her brother was hiding something. "For that matter…" she kicked him under the table. "Why did you have to be so mean to Saiki?"

"Oww…" his leg felt like it was throbbing. He hoped that Sara hadn't opened a wound, even though he knew it was unlikely that she had. "Why did you have to kick me so hard?"

"Serves you right, for treating her that way," Sara scolded. Her voice became softer. "But still…" Setsuna stared at her. Was she going to say what he was hoping for? Sara looked up to see her brother looking at her oddly. "You're such a big idiot, I'm sure she would have been disappointed anyway. Maybe this is better in the long run." Setsuna hung his head; sometimes he wondered why his sister seemed to take such delight in torturing him and then making him feel bad about it later. Their meal came, and they ate while enjoying light conversation like they had had earlier. When it was time to go, Setsuna paid for the meal and they left in the direction of their mother's house.

"You're so nice, brother," Sara complimented. "Even paying for the meal, it's almost like we're on a real date!" Setsuna remained silent; there was nothing he would like more than an actual date with Sara.

"What is up with you today?" he asked, breaking out of his private thoughts. "You're constantly switching between complimenting me and hating me. Can't you be a bit more consistent?"

"Sorry," she apologized. "Maybe it's because I feel like I'm in love."

"With who?" Setsuna asked.

"It's a secret," she teased. "Perhaps I'll tell you someday." She refused to say anything more on the subject for the rest of the walk. When they arrived at their mother's house, it was getting dark. Setsuna walked up the stairs with his sister, where she grabbed his had.

"Thank you for everything tonight," she told him. "I really missed you."

"I miss you too," he said. Feeling slightly reckless, he kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I'll see you again in two weeks," he promised. "This time, I won't be late!" He quietly walked down the steps, leaving Sara standing surprised on the front steps. As he began the long walk back to his father's house, Setsuna's thoughts turned again to his sister. He knew one thing: whoever his sister loved was not him, because there was no way someone so pure could have such a forbidden love.


	3. Chapter 3: A Warning of Concern

Chapter 3: A Warning of Concern

"What are you doing here?"

Setsuna looked around. As he had passed the corner of Sara's house, he had heard a voice call out at him. It wasn't Sara, because he had just caught a glimpse of her walking into her house through the front door when he had looked back.

"I thought I told you to stay away from here," the speaker said, coming into view from the side of the house. It was a middle-aged woman with a disapproving look on her face.

"I was just returning Sara home, mother," Setsuna explained. "I was just leaving."

"You know what I mean," the woman chided. "I don't want you to be anywhere near her."

"I don't want her to be unhappy," Setsuna told his mother. "After all, I—" he was interrupted as his mother slapped him across the face.

"I know what you really want," she said. "It would be better if you just stopped seeing her now."

"She'll hate me," Setsuna stated. "Are you really asking me to do this?"

"It's better that she be angry at you now and then forget about you later," she instructed, "Than for her to get punished for your sins. Stay away from her." Without letting him respond, she walked back towards the house. Setsuna stayed in the same spot for a while, thinking. He knew that there was truth in his mother's words; he had no desire to get his sister caught up in his foolish desires.

He also knew that what she had asked of him was beyond his willpower. Several times before he had tried to stop seeing Sara, but each time he found that he just couldn't do something that would cause her so much pain. Deep within, he knew that one day she would find out the truth and that he should be doing his best to push her as far away from himself as possible for when that happened.

It was past dark when Setsuna returned home. He was searching for the key to his front door when he finally came to a decision about Sara. Not wanting to think on it any more in case he might change his mind to the wrong choice, he occupied his mind with small things. Nonetheless, he worried as he lay down to bed that night that he would be doing the wrong thing.

Setsuna thought as little about his problem as he could during the next week. He had already made his decision; nothing could make him change his mind now. For the second week after his decision it was easier to keep busy, as school was starting and he could focus on getting off to a good start. He did not see Kira at school, but didn't really care as he had no intention of following up on the older student's offer.

Before he knew it, it was Friday, the day he was supposed to meet Sara. As he walked up the steps of her house, he caught a glimpse of his mother watching him from a window on the upper floor, but he paid her no attention. As he waited for someone to answer the door, he took a deep breath.

The door opened to reveal Sara.

"Wow, you're actually early!" she exclaimed.

"Sara," he said quietly, "We need to talk."


	4. Chapter 4: Rejection

Chapter 4: Rejection

The two siblings walked quietly down the street. Setsuna had said nothing more to his sister since leaving the house, perhaps not wanting for his mother to interrupt the conversation. The two kept walking in silence until they arrived at one of the city's public parks.

"What did you want to tell me, brother?" Sara asked timidly.

"Sara…" he began, "We should really stop seeing each other."

"Why?" she asked, a bit frightened. She grabbed on to her brother's arm. "You don't hate me, do you?"

"No, it's just…" he searched for the right words. "Well, I really enjoy spending time with you, but don't you think it's sort of…" he paused, "Odd, that we spend so much time together?"

"What do you mean?" Sara inquired. "We only see each other once every two weeks. We used to see each other a lot more, but we stopped that because you couldn't fit it in with school."

"That was a lie," Setsuna told her. "I only told you that because I don't think we should see each other that much."

"Why?" she repeated. Tears were filling her eyes, but Setsuna had resolved to do this and could not turn back now. Setsuna began to walk away.

"I'll take you out to dinner next week," he called back over his shoulder, "but after that I'm going to stop seeing you." Without looking back he walked away. He was determined not to show his sister that he was also on the verge of tears, but he knew that he couldn't go on like he had: seeing her but not being able to have her the way he wanted.

Although he remained out of sight, he stayed around to make sure that Sara made it home safely. He felt bad about leaving her alone, but knew that his mother might have interfered if he had talked to Sara at her house, and so he had done what was necessary. For the longest time she didn't move from the spot where she stood. Setsuna knew how she felt, but suppressed the urge to run back and comfort her.

When she finally made it to the house, their mother was waiting. Knowing instinctively what had happened, she did for Sara what her son could not; she tried to cheer her up. For a moment before returning inside, Setsuna's mother looked out to where her son was watching from the shadows of a street corner. For a moment their eyes locked, and for the first time in years she gave him a smile of gratitude. A second later they were both gone; Setsuna was already on his way home and his mother was inside taking care of Sara.

That night, Setsuna found that sleep would not come to him. Even though what he had done might have been the right thing, he couldn't forget that he had just made himself the cause of the most painful thing his sister had ever experienced.


	5. Chapter 5: Advice of the Heart

Chapter 5: Advice of the Heart

Setsuna woke up suddenly. He was in his high school classroom, meaning that he had probably fallen asleep in class again. It was Wednesday, two days before he would meet with Sara for the last time in his life. He had given up hope that he would ever sleep peacefully again; he wasn't sure that he was deserving of restful nights anymore. The downside was that he found it hard to stay awake during school. After the first day, Setsuna's teacher had given up on trying to wake the troubled student, and usually just left him there until he woke up.

Glancing at the clock, Setsuna saw that the school day had only been over for around a quarter of an hour. He gathered up his things and left for home. Worried about his upcoming farewell to Sara, he paid no attention to where he was going, instead trusting his feet to bring him to his father's house. As a result, he didn't see the ambush until it was too late.

His assaulters were all students from his school, most of them older than him. He had no chance to react before they were on top of him, beating at him with their fists.

"What's the matter, sleepyhead?" one of them taunted. "Did we wake you up?" Setsuna recognized the student as a third-year who had a reputation as a member of a street gang. He dropped his bag and tried to defend himself. Setsuna was fairly strong for his age, and the first two people he hit got the wind knocked out of them. Unfortunately, he was outnumbered horribly, and soon found himself being pushed to the ground. Unsure of what exactly his attackers wanted to do with him, Setsuna lashed out at the nearest one. His knuckles opened a gash in the students face, and bright red blood flew out to splash the faces of the others. Setsuna froze. No matter how strong he might be, he could not stand the sight of blood. He began to feel faint as he cursed himself for being stuck with the most inconvenient of phobias.

Somehow, he survived the fight. He wondered how he had ever managed to get away from the mob of students, much less walk away on his own two feet, when he realized that he was being supported by someone.

"You really should try not to stand out so much," his rescuer told him. Setsuna tried to respond, but found that he couldn't make a sound. "Don't try talking," the man said, seeing his struggling. "You're not in a very good condition right now."

Setsuna's mind slowly began to clear. The man who was helping him walk was vaguely familiar, but he couldn't recall where he had seen the mysterious helper before. He recognized the area they were in all too well, as it was the same park he had taken Sara to inform her of his decision. The helpful stranger helped Setsuna to sit down on a park bench, and then took the seat right beside him.

"Do you remember me?" he asked. "It was only a few weeks ago that we spoke to each other." Dimly Setsuna recognized the man as the same high school student who had made him an offer three weeks earlier.

"Yeah," he replied. His throat felt extremely dry and hurt when he talked, but he forced himself to answer. "You're…"

"Sakuya Kira," the man reminded him. "Have you reconsidered the offer I made to you?"

"No," Setsuna said flatly. "I don't see any reason why it would help me out?"

"Oh, really? Do you enjoy getting beaten that much?" A thought began to make its way into Setsuna's mind.

"Did you…"

"No, I didn't ask them to attack you," Kira assured. "However, I did manage to convince them to leave you alone when they would have otherwise liked to have a bit more fun with you."

"Why would they listen to you?" Setsuna asked suspiciously.

"Because I'm the right-hand man to their boss," Kira explained. "They don't really have to listen to me, but they know how unpleasant I can make it for them."

"Why do you need me then?"

"I need someone who I can trust," Kira answered. "Someone who is reliable, but can still get the job done. You fit those criteria, so I'm giving you the chance at the position."

"What kind of 'jobs' are you talking about?" Setsuna inquired. He had no desire to get caught up in any kind of illegal activity.

"Maybe that was the wrong word," the older student muttered. "Basically, I just want you to help with anything you can, as long as you're willing to do so."

"Well, you did help me out," Setsuna thought aloud, "and I don't see any harm in it, so I guess I'll give it a try." He got up and slowly began to walk home. He had been walking a few minutes when he noticed that Kira was following him.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm following to make sure you don't pass out on your way home. If you don't like it, tough luck."

"Why did you bring me here, anyway?" Setsuna asked. "This place isn't anywhere close to where I was attacked."

"I brought you here because I saw you here last week," Kira answered as he came forward to walk next to Setsuna. "I knew that you could find your way home from it. By the way, who was that cute middle-school girl who was with you on Friday? You should have been a bit nicer on her, too."

"What?" Setsuna asked. Had Kira been stalking him?

"You really seem to have a thing with making girls cry," Kira remarked. "Next time one of them asks you out, why don't you introduce them to me instead of just dumping them right away?"

"Stay away from Sara," Setsuna warned. "I won't have you messing with her."

"Why so concerned about a girl who you just pushed away?"

"Sara… she's my little sister," Setsuna explained. "I don't wan ther getting caught up in whatever it is that you do."

"You love her, don't you?" Setsuna looked up sharply as Kira went on. "I thought it was odd, that you looked so concerned about her after leaving her last week, but now I think I understand."

"So you'll turn me away too," Setsuna predicted cynically. "Now that you know what kind of monster I am, you'll stay away from me as much as possible."

"I can't do that," Kira said, almost talking to himself. "Personally, the thought of your feelings for her makes me sick, but I can't blame you for that when I have my own faults." Setsuna was surprised; he hadn't expected to ever meet someone who would just casually accept someone with such a forbidden desire.

"What should I do?" Setsuna asked. Having finally found somebody who would still look at him in the eyes after learning the truth, he told Kira about his situation. When he had finished, Kira remained silent until they had reached the house of Setsuna's father.

"What you are doing is the right thing, Setsuna," Kira said in response to the question. "You have no right to drag your sister down to hell with you. However, you owe her enough that she should know the truth before you disappear from her life entirely."


	6. Chapter 6: Dilemma

Chapter 6: Dilemma

Setsuna attended school the next day as usual. He did not fall asleep in class, but not much that went on registered in his mind, either. Most of the day, he merely stared off into nothingness, worrying about his upcoming meeting with his sister. Kira's advice troubled him. Mostly, he was worried because the advice that the older student had given him was what Setsuna wanted to do, and Setsuna knew that what he wanted was not a path that would bring happiness to Sara. He also knew that to leave Sara without any explanation whatsoever would be equally as cruel.

When the bell rang to signal the end of the school day, Setsuna remained in his seat. He took no notice of any of the other students who were exiting out of the room until someone spoke to him.

"You look like you haven't slept in days," the student said. Setsuna looked up to see one of his classmates. He recognized the boy as Michael, a kid who had been in his class during middle school.

"I've been busy," he replied. He didn't know what the other was up to; they had barely known each other aside from being in each other's classes. "I'll manage." Michael got the implication that Setsuna wanted to be left alone and walked toward the door. He passed Kira on the way out, and despite the fact that neither of them said anything Setsuna received the impression that the two had a history between them, and not a good one from the glares they gave each other.

"Still worried about tomorrow?" Kira asked once the other boy was gone.

"Your advice didn't help," Setsuna remarked. "Before I knew what I was going to do; now I have to choose between two bad outcomes."

"Ask yourself this, then," Kira advised. "Which outcome is better for Sara?"

"Neither," Setsuna answered gloomily. "She'll hate me in each of them, for being a monster if I tell her the truth and for being a jerk if I don't. There's no good solution."

"Now how about this," the older student pointed out. "If the only ones affects by this decision are you and Sara, and the result for her will be the same in either situation, all you have to do is pick what _you_ want." With that last piece of information given, Kira turned and walked towards the exit. "By the way," he said as he stood in the doorway, "you might want to get moving before those thugs from yesterday realize that you're still here and try to come back. They'll only listen to me so much, and I really have better things to do than save your sorry ass all of the time." Setsuna looked up, but Kira was already gone.

Setsuna walked home while thinking about what he had been told by Kira. Even with the most recent advice he had received, the path was not clear. He would have loved for nothing more than to tell his younger sister just how he felt about her. Well, almost nothing. Still, he was not sure that he wanted to do so in exchange for her hating him for the rest of their lives. He thought about it for the rest of the night, and stayed home from school the next day to contemplate it some more. He knew that he shouldn't be skipping school so early in the year, but he found it impossible to think about anything other than Sara. When the time came, he left to meet with his sister for the last time, still not quite sure about what he was going to do.

She was waiting at the door when he arrived. The two of them walked without saying anything. They had dinner, after which Setsuna walked her home. Before they parted, the two stopped. Setsuna dimly realized that the park they were in was the same one in which they had met the previous week.

"Sara…" he began, "this is goodbye."

"Why?" she asked. "Why can't we keep seeing each other?"

"Because…" he made up his mind. "Because I love you," he said.


	7. Chapter 7: Confession

Chapter 7: Confession

Ever since he had been little, Setsuna had known that there was only one woman that he would ever love. Unfortunately, that one woman, the one he would do anything for, was his sister. Knowing that he could never tell anybody, he made himself into an outcast; never talking to his classmates, always off by himself. After only a few tries at friendship, his peers shrugged him off as "hopeless" and left him alone. Only one person insisted on seeing him: Sara, the sister whom he loved. Her devotion to him only made him love her more, and he knew that if he were to keep his secret he couldn't continue to see her on a regular basis.

"I love you," he told her. Sara looked at him oddly; she had no idea what he was getting at.

"I love you too, brother," she said, confused. "Why does this mean—"

"You don't understand," Setsuna interrupted. "You love me as a brother, but that is not the same way that I love you. It…" he paused for a moment, and then continued. "It would be better, for that reason, that we didn't see each other."

"Why?" she asked. Despite the countless times she had asked him that same question, Setsuna found that it was still had to put the answer into words.

"Sara…" he began. He stopped for a moment and took her hand. "There is nothing I would love more than to spend the rest of my life with you, but the way I would want it wouldn't be right. I… I know it will hurt, but after tonight I'm going to stop seeing you. Don't try to find me, because I don't want to hurt you anymore."

After that, there was nothing more that either of them could say. Setsuna walked his sister back to their mother's house, still holding her hand the entire way. On the front steps, she stopped and turned to him.

"Setsuna," she said, "I'm sorry that I can't be what you wanted me to be." After saying that, she kissed him right on the lips. "I'm sorry," she repeated before disappearing inside. A light went out in an upstairs window, and Setsuna knew that his mother had watched the entire thing from her bedroom. She had been the first one to realize the true feelings that one of her children had towards the other, and had done everything within her power to ensure that her daughter would remain protected. Setsuna no longer cared that she knew; he would never see her or his sister again.

_I'm sorry that I can't be what you wanted me to be._ Sara's parting words ran through his mind over and over. Something was not right; he had thought that she would have been angry, not apologetic. He knew that it didn't matter, not anymore, but that couldn't stop him from thinking about it constantly.

"Setsuna," someone called out. He ignored them; he wasn't entirely sure that it wasn't just his memories. He couldn't remember many times when Sara had called him by his name, as she normally just referred to him as "brother." His revelation must have really disturbed her.

Setsuna was brought out of his thoughts when something hit him. A small rock bounced off of his head and fell to the ground. Looking up, Setsuna saw Sakuya Kira sitting on a stone fence beside the path some ways back. Even though the sun was setting and there was barely any light, the older student was reading a book with one hand even as he tried to get Setsuna's attention.

"What do you want?" Setsuna asked. He wasn't in a good mood, and wanted nothing more than to go home and forget about everything, even though he knew he could never truly forget.

"I called to you several times," Kira replied. "What's got you so down?" When he failed to obtain a response, he continued. "Ahh, you were going to see Sara tonight. I'm guessing that your little meeting didn't go so well." He closed the book and jumped down to the sidewalk, coming right up behind Setsuna.

"Then again," he whispered, "Maybe it went just right, and you're disappointed because you had a foolish hope that things could have worked out better." Setsuna still remained silent, not trusting himself to speak at the moment. "Come with me," the older boy offered, "I think you really need to get your mind off things that have already happened." Setsunsa ignored him and once more began to walk home. He didn't care whether or not Kira followed him, but instead only concentrated on returning to his father's house. As he walked through the front door, he was addressed from behind.

"I know that you didn't want things to turn out this way," Kira said. He hadn't said anything more along the way, but had followed Setsuna all the way to his home. "Maybe there was a better way to do this, and if my advice just made things worse, well, I'm sorry." Setsuna let the door close without turning around.

_I'm sorry._ Sara's last words to him had been an apology. It made no sense; she had never done him any wrong. All she had ever done was to love him as a sister; it wasn't her fault that her older brother was a monster.


	8. Chapter 8: Depression

Chapter 8: Depression

For the next few weeks, nothing mattered to Setsuna. He went about his life as though nothing were wrong, but did so as if he were on autopilot. He paid no attention to anything, and wasn't even sure how long had passed since he had last seen Sara. His days ran together. He knew that Sakuya Kira sometimes walked home with him. Sometimes Kira talked to try to break Setsuna out of his trance, other times he was merely content to walk beside the younger student.

Setsuna couldn't recall any more trouble with the gang of students who had tried to beat him up one day. It was entirely possible that they did catch him alone sometimes during the weeks after Setsuna had stopped seeing his sister, but anything they might have done to him was nothing compared to what he was already feeling. Eventually, they either gave up on him or Kira had intervened again on Setsuna's behalf, it didn't matter either way.

On one of the days when Kira wasn't with him on the way home, Setsuna thought he heard yelling as he passed a side alley. He stopped to listen better, and surely enough, there was screaming coming from within. Setsuna rushed in to find two men cornering a small child who was huddled in the corner.

"HELP!" the child screamed. Setsuna wasted no time; he ran up and hit one of the men as hard as he could in the back of the head. Given a momentary diversion, the child ran past the men, taking refuge behind Setsuna. Setsuna caught a good enough glimpse of the child to realize that it was Kurai, the little girl who lived near his house. She ran back to the main street, although she remained just around the corner instead of fleeing completely as Setsuna would have preferred.

"You really don't want to mess with us, boy," the man who had not been hit threatened. "We have ways of making things unpleasant for you. You've just spoiled a bit of fun we were planning, so I think we're going to have to carve you up to make it even." He reached for a knife at his belt. Without waiting for any further interference, Setsuna drew his fist back and hit the man squarely in the face. Blood streamed from the man's nose, and Setsuna found himself struggling to stay on his feet.

"What's the matter, boy?" the other man taunted. He had recovered from the hit Setsuna had given him, and was now approaching the increasingly dizzy young man. "Feeling a bit sick?" He punched at Setsuna, whose legs failed him at that moment by some bizarre stroke of luck. The man's punch went wild, and before he could recover Setsuna was on his feet and running away. He paused only long enough to grab Kurai by the arm to make sure she was still with him. The continued running until they had reached the neighborhood where they lived, where they slowed to a walk. By this time Kurai was dead tired, so Setsuna picked her up and carried her the rest of the way in his arms.

"Thank you," she said before falling asleep. He brought her to her home, where he left her with her cousin, Arachne. He then left for his own home, despite Arachne's offer to let him rest there for a while. He stopped suddenly when he saw a familiar figure walking down the steps of his house.


	9. Chapter 9: Acceptance

Chapter 9: Acceptance

Setsuna watched from the street as the figure turned away from the door and began walking back to the street. He felt his heart pounding within his chest, and prayed that he wouldn't be seen. The person arrived at the street and hesitated. In the light of a streetlamp, Setsuna saw that it was Sara, confirmation of what he had known in his heart since he had first seen her outside his door. Anxiety turned to relief as she turned in the opposite direction and began to walk away. The light sparkled in her eyes as she turned—had she been crying? Setsuna resisted the urge to run up to her, to reassure her and tell his sister everything was alright. If he did that, he would be lying, because nothing would ever be right while he was still near her.

And yet, was anything right when they were apart?

Before he could stop himself, he was walking to her a fast as his feet could take him. He put his hand on her shoulder, said her name. At first she seemed not to believe it, as if he were only a figment of her imagination, a foolish wish. Something that would disappear as soon as she acknowledged his existence.

"Sara," he told her softly, "I'm here."

With all of her disbelief gone, she turned and threw her arms around him. After a second of hesitation, he returned the embrace, holding his sister in his arms. Nothing was said between the two siblings, but they said the same thing to each other anyway: I am here for you now. After an eternity of closeness, they separated.

"Brother," she said, taking his hands, "Last time we saw each other, when you told me you loved me, you said that it would hurt for a while, but the pain would go away. But when you were gone, I missed you more than anything else. I couldn't stop thinking about you. And I realized that I miss you more than I miss you as a brother, because…I love you too."

Setsuna knew that he should tell her that she was wrong, that she was confusing her own emotions. The love she thought she felt for him was nothing more than her imagination, a combination of her love for him as a brother and her shock over learning about his feelings. He knew, but ignored it. Right now, nothing felt more _right_ than the path that everybody would tell them was wrong, because it was the only path in which they were together.

"Sara, I'm sorry about what I did," he apologized. "I should never have pushed you away like that, and…" He stopped as she embraced him again. Words were unnecessary: they already knew everything the other wanted to say. In the dim light of the streetlamp, away from the scornful eyes of the rest of the world, Sara looked up and kissed her brother, because nothing else had ever felt more right to them.


	10. Chapter 10: Concealment

Chapter 10: Concealment

_We mustn't let anybody know,_ Setsuna thought. _It has to be a secret from everybody._ Of course, he hadn't needed to tell Sara this, she understood just as well as him. Nobody accepted those who were guilty of incest.

So, with great difficulty, Setsuna tried his best to make it seem like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He still avoided everybody at school, with the occasion exception of Kira, and spoke rarely. Still, it was hard for him to conceal the excitement he felt from just thinking about Sara.

The hardest part of all, however, was trying to avoid Sara. More than ever before, they felt like spending every free moment together, but Setsuna knew that for them to do so would surely arouse suspicion in their mother. Especially due to the fact that only a few weeks earlier she had seen Setsuna try to break off all contact between the two entirely. For that reason, they were always careful whenever they were in public together. The strain of being constantly on guard significantly dampened the feelings of happiness they got from being together.

"Honestly, how can we relax and enjoy ourselves if we're jumping apart whenever someone walks in the room?" Sara complained after one of their dates. Of the two, she had the hardest time concealing the truth. The only people other than Sara who played a significant part in Setsuna's life were his father, whom he barely ever saw and spoke with even less, and Kira, who already knew of the relationship between the two siblings. Setsuna had managed to convince Sara that even if he didn't entirely approve of the two of them being together, Kira would never betray their secret. She still maintained a healthy amount of caution about Kira's supposed trustworthiness, but with each passing week grew more relaxed around him.

The source of Sara's anxiety stemmed, of course, from her mother. It had been impossible to completely conceal the fact that the two still met with each other, but some fast talking on Sara's part had convinced their mother that yes, they were still seeing each other, but that such occasions were rare and becoming far less frequent. Unfortunately, the assurances only stopped her from directly inquiring about the two of them. Beneath the apparent trust, Mrs. Mudo still seemed determined to think the worst of her son, and sometimes showed up unexpectedly in the areas where the siblings frequently visited together.

"Are you listening to me?" Sara demanded.

"I don't think there's anything we can do, for now," Setsuna replied. He was always careful not to let himself get too worked up over the discomfort of secrecy. The last thing he wanted to do was get angry at Sara because of something that wasn't her fault. "All we can do is wait until she stops being so persistant."

"You don't have to live with her," Sara reminded him. "She won't give up until she finds out what she wants. We'll spend the rest of our lives looking for her over our shoulders unless we do something now." With that comment, an idea blossomed in Setsuna's mind.


	11. Chapter 11: Escape

Chapter 11: Escape

"Hurry, brother!" The clock on the train station wall read five minutes before noon.

"I'm coming," he responded. He ran to catch up with where his sister was. "We'll make it in time, don't worry." They passed people as they rushed forward, but only a few gave them strange looks. The sound of a whistle sounded throughout the station, warning travelers that the next train would be leaving shortly. A crowd of people passed in front of him, blocking him from going any farther for a few seconds. When they cleared out, Sara was already at the ticket counter.

"Here," he said as he gave the tickets to the attendant. With barely a minute to spare, they boarded their train.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Sara asked once they had found a place to sit together. The car they were in wasn't necessarily full, but a few people were scattered around in various seats. The seats they chose were as far from the other passengers as possible.

"No," Setsuna replied honestly, "I'm not." They had spent over a month discussing their plan to leave Tokyo and go someplace else. Despite their advance planning and debate over whether it was a good idea, both of them still had their doubts.

"We can still turn back," Sara told him. "We don't have to go through with this." Setsuna looked into his little sister's eyes. There wasn't even the tiniest hint of doubt in them: she planned to go through with this. The only thing that made her ask that was her fear that Setsuna might not be totally committed to the idea. Sure, he had been the one to introduce the idea, but he had also brought up the downsides, the reasons they should turn back. He would have to be the one to raise the objections, and she was giving him that chance.

"No," he said firmly. "We've come this far, and we're not turning back. If this turns out to be a bad decision, we'll just have to live with it." Even with the negative tone of his voice, Sara smiled at his declaration. If anything went wrong, they would face it together.

As the day went on, the other passengers came and went, but Setsuna and Sara stayed. With each stop, they were further from Tokyo, one more step between them and their mother. Between them and anybody who knew they were related. One more step away from their lives and everything they had known.

But for them, it was alright, because they still had each other, and at that moment, nothing else they had had in their previous lives had meant more.

They arrived late that afternoon in Niigata. Thanks to Sakuya Kira, they had enough money to rent a hotel room for a while, long enough until they could find a place to live, and a source of income. Setsuna hadn't wanted to take the money, but Kira had pointed out that they would have no choice but to return to Tokyo if they didn't take it. He told Setsuna not to worry about it, that it was his way of saying thanks to his former sidekick.

Setsuna wondered what he'd ever done for Kira. He couldn't recall anything he'd done that would deserve that kind of thanks.

The next morning, Setsuna went out looking to see if he could find somebody willing to hire a sixteen year old high school dropout. Despite his protests, Sara came with him on his search, claiming that he might have better luck if she was there. Setsuna failed to see whatever logic she had used to justify _that_, but knew better than to object. If she wanted to be with him, she would have her way.

They were walking together through the city when they heard something that made them stop instantly.

"I hope you two are quite finished with this little excursion of yours," a familiar voice told them.


	12. Chapter 12: Beginning

Chapter 12: Beginning

"I hope you two are quite finished with this little excursion of yours." At the edge of his vision, Setsuna saw his sister turn around to look at the speaker.

"Mother!" she exclaimed. It was not a happy exclamation. Sara had been hoping that, as she turned around, the person she saw standing there would not have been their mother. Setsuna knew better. He knew that there was no way she would let them run away that easily.

"What are you doing here?" Setsuna asked. He didn't even bother turning around. She wasn't in control of his life anymore.

"You know why I'm here," she replied bitterly. "What _you_ do is none of my concern any more, but I'll not let you ruin your sister's life like this."

"Mom, I _wanted_ to come with brother," Sara protested. "I want to be with him." It wouldn't do any good. Nothing Sara could say would convince this woman that they were truly happier this way. If she could be persuaded that easily, they wouldn't have needed to leave in order to be happy.

"Nonsense," she said indignantly. "You mustn't let him deceive you, Sara. Do you really want to leave behind the rest of your life?"

"No," Sara answered confidently. Setsuna turned his head to stare at her. Had he been wrong about her having made up her mind?

"Then come back with me, Sara."

"I don't really like the idea of leaving the rest of my life behind me," Sara confessed, "but I know that I would regret it even more if I stayed back, and if I wasn't able to be with brother." She turned her back on them and began to go, but decided better of it. Just as suddenly, she ran back and embraced her mother.

"Goodbye, mom," she said, holding back tears. "I'll miss you." She turned and disappeared, merging into the mass of people who passed back and forth, never paying the slightest bit of attention to what Setsuna thought would have been a great spectacle to all. Setsuna wanted to follow immediately, to run off with Sara and never come back, but instead he decided that he could wait just a few more minutes.

"I guess this is goodbye," he told his mother. "You'll probably never see us again."

"Will you really go through with this?" she asked.

"Yes," he responded. Before he left, he had one last thing to say. "What you did to Sara was unforgivable," he accused. "You tried to stop her from being happy, and I'll never forget that." She lowered her head, unable to look at him. "But," he continued, waiting until she would look at him, "You did what you thought was best for her, and for that, I cannot blame you." He turned to follow his sister. Just as he disappeared into the crowd of people, Mrs. Mudou heard him say 'thank you.'

He caught up with her on an empty street corner a few blocks away. One look at her told Setsuna that she had been unsuccessful in stopping the tears from coming, and as he approached he saw that she was still crying. Without saying a word, he embraced her.

"Did we really do the right thing?" she asked.

"I don't know."

"Will she ever forgive us?"

"Since she hasn't come after us, I'd say she already has."

"I really hope so, brother."

"Sara, you can't call me that anymore," he instructed. "From now on, you have to call me Setsuna."

"Okay, bro…" she began. "I mean, okay, Setsuna."

Setsuna smiled at Sara, because he knew that everything had turned out right. Starting now, their lives were restarted.


End file.
